it only just hit me what's really going on. you may be gone soon. whilst i'm sitting here, quite healthy, smoking these stupid things. i just realised what i'm doing. i'm sorry for being lousy. i just can't stand seeing you like this. seemed like only yesterday we hung out all the time. and now i barely see you. i don't know what to do. i don't know how i'll handle it. but i'll start by being the bestfriend i said i'd be.